Life After Nexcom

On the way home from rehearsal last night I drove by the little park in Coupeville, and just stopped the car in the middle of the street and sat there staring at the lights. The park is just a tiny lot in the middle of town, but it has several deciduous trees, lots of bushes and a sculpture or two. It is really nice. It is covered, on every branch, with thousands of little tiny different colored lights. The wind was whipping the tree branches around but the lights were hanging on tightly. It made it look like the trees were dancing.



Since it was late at night, 930, and there was no traffic, I just stayed there for about 10 minutes looking at the lights. There is something so peaceful about just looking at outside lights. I remember when we used to live in an old run down Victorian house just up the road from that park, and just across the vacant lot from the county court house. THe town Christmas tree was always in front of the court house, and I could see it from my upstairs bedroom window seat. I would sit up there for hours late at night just staring at it. It meant so much to me to see that tree. It was a peaceful anchor in a troubled world.

It was the early 60's, the VietNam war was just going good (or bad) , Johnson was President, The hippie revolution was just getting a foothold in our society and things were crazy. My Mom was drinking heavily, and Dad was always working. My brother was only about 8 or 9 and very impressionable, and Phyllis was a typical rebellious teenager. I was always the One who was expected to set a good example, and keep the little kids from going astray. I tried really hard to do that, But with a job, and dealing with my Mom's alcoholism, sometimes It got to be too much. Dad would call to check up on us, and I would have to tell him that mom was at the tavern, and we were ok. He said he would see us in the morning, and hang up.

Phyllis and I were always at each others throats, and I was Mike's "Mom". I tried to keep things normal for him, and I think I did for the most part. To escape the turmoil, I would go up into my bedroom, turn off the one and only light bulb hanging from the ceiling, and sit in the window seat and listen to Christmas carols and look out at the tree and think about how I wished a better life for us all. Those were bad times for us.

Things got better, Phyllis actually grew up in to a very successful independant well respected member of the community. Michael is a hard working, very caring Father and Husband, who has managed to keep his family together through some very rough times for them. Mom and Dad Loved to hate each other and were married for almost 50 years. I have a home of my own, and if I work it right should not have to worry about living expenses. My kids have grown up and gone their own ways, Chemystery keeps finding her way back home, but Tim never has.

THe tree in front of the Court House is long gone, The family moved out of the Old run down VIctorian, Mom and Dad are no longer with us, but the rest of us are here in town, and will all get together at Phyllis' Christmas Eve, and My house for Christmas dinner. I Still do not have my tree up but It will be done today. once the tree is up, then I can turn on the lights and turn off the lamps, build a fire in the wood stove, turn on the radio, to Classic KING FM and listen to some great Christmas Music. I think I will stop and get a bottle of Bailey's today, so I can sip a glass of that with a cup of coffee, and just sit and stare at the Christmas lights, and reflect on how bad it was, and how far we have all come, and realize the true peace of the season.