GADS!! IM SORE!!! I just painted Chemystery's room. I was planning on turning it into a sitting room, but she just MIGHT get a job with a Biotech company, and will be camping here for a few months. So I hurried and painted it. She wanted tuscan red walls and sage green furniture, but I bought a cool green for the walls, and will paint one wall a cranberry zinger red. That is the best I can do right now. And the Red wall will be one you cant see from the door!! Once she is on her own, (again) then I will turn it into a sitting room. What got me was the ceiling. My shoulders are hurting really bad. And my legs feel like rubber. I also think that most of this is a function of not much oxygen getting into my blood. I am having a terrible time breathing today. All the grasses are getting mowed, and the flowering trees are all in bloom, and I am hacking my guts out. The room is 4/5's done though. Only have the red wall to do. That will be tonight. Then tomorrow I will put the room back together and then move on to My bedroom. I should by that time have most of the crap out of the livingroom and into the garage. I then can start on the living area, placing the baseboards in and painting the walls, the last thing will be new linoleum on the kitchen floor. I expect to have everything done by mid July. I hope. But being the president of the procrastinators club, "why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?" I cant believe I said that...

Yahooo!!!!!!!! All of my lost pay checks finally made it into my bank account this morning. WHEW!!! I was really starting to sweat them out. I have a mortgage payment due, and don't want to get behind in that. I need ONE account that is current!

I now need to gather all my bills, sit down and pay them all off. Then I can start really working on retirement. I would have liked to go to the retirees convention in Scottsdale, but did not know when I would be well financially, so I did not make reservations. Too late now. There is always next year, or the year after that. By then I will probably be working again and unable to go.

Go figure...

This is getting really frustrating. I got my VSIP check last week, and with it was a note saying that my retirement check was sent to my bank on April 22. Then Saturday I received notification that my May check was electronically transfered to my account and will show up May 1. OK, I understand not getting the last one yet, but where in the heck is the first one? I called John Hancock and got an answering machine, (naturally) so I left a message. No call back. I called the bank, and they dont have it. They said I would probably have to have them cancel the check and reissue it. That will take another 10 days. Now mind you, this IS the check that replaced the check that was sent on Mar 27 that got lost. ARRRGGGHHHH I checked the account number and it is correct, my name is spelled right, the only thing that might be wrong is the wrong address on the envelope that holds the check that they sent to the bank. Now, WHY could it not be electronically transferred like the May 1 one did? (ok, I still dont know IF the may 1st one actually got there or not) The whole damn thing is a conspiracy that just reinforces in my mind that it was definately time to go...before the BIG ONE hits, and the whole business collapses and gets coopted by WALMART. Now walmart wants us sooooo bad. Well my link didnt work. You used to type in navyexchange.com and up would pop walmart. I guessed they fixed it. Too bad they cant fix NEXCOM....

Well Spring has finally arrived!! HALLELUIA!!! Believe me I was READY!! I spent yesterday at the HOLLAND HAPPENING Parade and craft fair. Got a bit of a burn on my face too. IT was the hoakiest (sic) parade yet. Every Kid in town was in it. Along with Every Church in town, and Every Business In town, and every Emergency apparatus the city and the base had! really HOAKY!! But I saw and was seen! People that I haven't seen in Years were there. Felt good! Last night was the close of the play, so I had to be there to strike the set. Got home around 1:30 AM and was really pooped. I just KNEW I would sleep in today, but NO!!! wide awake at 730! I can't get over this new sleep pattern of mine. When I was growing up, you had to blast me out of bed. Then on weekends, as a Mother, Jim would get up with the kids, and let me sleep until 1100 or so. But not anymore. I wake up, get up, and take a nap around 3 0r 4, Bed at 10 and start all over again. Who woulda thunk it? I am actually awake some mornings before the sun comes up.

Since My Baby Bro came over and harvested my yard yesterday, I figured I would get out and try to discover new ground around the "flowers". Got on my glasses, my hat, put Bea in her harness and headed out side with my garden cart. Got about 1/2 way across the front of the house, and Baby Bro came back to weed eat, so I got chased inside. Shucks!! But if the weather holds this week. I will get the front done. I want the yard to look fairly decent so that I am not ashamed to have friends come over. "You cant miss it, it is the house with the grass 3 feet tall." They always find it too. :-Z ......

Today was one of those Jewel days that sustain you through the rest of the year. A vitamin pill day, just when you needed one. A booster shot day, just when your vaccine was wearing out. It started out really gray and drippy and dark. I actually slept in until 830!! Im becoming a real lazy bones!! anyway, I forced myself to get up and put Mariah out to pee, and fix a pot of coffee. I turned on the computer and then got my coffee and Bea bunny and went back to bed to sit and watch Katie and Matt and Al and Ann. The birds weren't even very active. It was just a bleary morning. Then after my first cup of coffee, I noticed that Bea was on the window sill fighting for space with the cat and two of the cats were stretched out in a sunbeam on my bed, and there was actual WARMTH coming in the window and hitting the side of my face. I turned and got blinded by the sun popping up over the top of the alder trees. It was 900. I looked at the fence to see if Lola was sitting on it, but instead there were several birds lined up. 2 red winged blackbird males, 2 goldfinches several house finches and three spotted doves. All perched on the fence with their wings spread and soaking up the sunshine! Never have seen that before. was quite a sight. I got up and went in and checked the daily blogs. bookmarked a few and was just getting ready to start reading USS clueless when Bob came in. There went my morning. I went to see Errant son, and he is fine. Then headed in to Mt Vernon.

AHHHHHH the Blue of the sky was gorgeous. Then going over Deception Pass, the water was calm, and a pretty deep green-blue the clouds were a sparkling white, and the mountains were clear as a bell. It was wonderful!!! Yes the traffic into t oMt. V was murder, but that is because the tulips are out in full and the weather was good. Went on into the mall, and bought 2 pair of jeans, and SEE's bon-bons. shouldn't have done that either. But I did!!! :-) I thoroughly enjoyed the drive and the shopping on a day when I usually would have been working. Hey this retirement might be a good thing!! On the way home I noticed that the clouds were getting taller down the Sound, and looked thundery. It was warm. It was clear, it was bright, it was sunshiney, and I had money in my bank account!!! What could be better than that?...

WHOO-HOO!!!! I Have MONEY!!!!! My VSIP finally reached me via FED-EX. BUT along with this was a note saying that my retirement check was sent to AFCU. It has not shown up yet!! (BIG SIGH HERE) I will be so glad when I get on a regular schedule and know Exactly what I will have to live on a month. At least I will know that all of my credit cards are now paid off!!! and the nasty Credit Collectors can GET OFF MY BACK AND GO TO HELL!!! AND I HOPE THEY ALL HAVE TO GO THROUGH WHAT I HAVE THE PAST 9 MONTHS!!! I hope they all suffer from depression, or warts, or syphillis or incontenance, or something equally as horrible. Not the nice ones, the ones who understood, but the NASTY ones, AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! POX ON YOU!!!!! I feel sooo much better....

Another dark, chilly morning. I woke up thinking it was really early because it was so dark, but actually I had slept in until 815!! haven't done that in quite a while. Made my coffee, and brought Bunny Bea into my room with me, so she could get used to the cats even more. They actually are ignoring her now, and shared a window sill with her for about 15 minutes. She wanted to get down and run, but Im not ready for her to do that yet. SHe is pretty much box trained, but I dont want to chance bunny urine on my bed quite yet. I got up and put her and an apple back in her cage, and got my coffee. Decided to wait until 9:00 ALaska time to check to see if my money had hit my account yet. NOPE! so all the retoric they spouted to Lynn was incorrect. My paycheck should have hit my account Tuesday morning, and my VSIP was sposed to be overnighted to me Monday. NOTHING! I am fast depleating my checking account, and DAMN IT it shouldn't have taken this long. People that have retired after me have already gotten their monies. Not ME!! Thank God for IRS and the refund I got.

Have a list of chores to get done today. I am conserving energy, and only leave the house when I have several things to do at once. So today I will go see Errant Son, then on in to town to the NEX to raise some hell, and get my laundry in, then petfood. GADS. You 'd a thought I was the worst person in the universe this morning. I am out of fancy feast salmon for the cats. Now mind you, they ALWAYS have Science Diet down for them to eat. Only Lint and Loki get the fancy feast, the others don't l;ike it. I went in got my coffee, and tripped over both cats who were meowing and looking at their empty plate. I laughed and told them they were gonna starve as they ate it all. WELL!!!! If looks could kill!!!! I went back in and sat watching the birds and Lola, and up popped Lint. Stared my face with those eyes of his that said get off your ASS mom and feed me!!! I ignored him and he got right in my face and just stared.....God I'm glad I cant read his mind, I'm sure he was wondering exactly how to kill me, and drag me to his dish for dinner....

OHMIGAWD!!! The sun just peaked through the clouds. I'm BLINDED. It is coming in right over the top of the monitor. whoo-bright stuff. They say that the Pacific Northwest uses more sunglasses per capita than anywhere else on earth. There could be two reasons for this phenomenon..1. that we seldom ever see the sun so therefore we never can find our sunglasses, and have to run out and buy another pair everytime we do see it. or 2. the rays of the sun strike through the atmosphere at such an angle that it becomes more bright, and harmful, so we all know to always carry and wear your sunglasses. We have several pair, and know exactly where they are at.

I got out in the yard at dusk last night, and thouroughly cleaned out the bird baths, and the feeders. They were getting pretty skanky. I empied all the water out of the bird baths, knowing that the rain would fill them back up soon, and I wanted them to air out. They were growing sunflower sprouts in them from the bird feeder trays. Ick. Also did not want to leave a spot for breeding mosquitoes, and increasing the chance of West Nile Virus, which has made it's appearance known on South Whidbey.

Why are there more and more virus' appearing that have never been seen before? Is it because we are uncovering more and more places with our expanding and development? Is it because the viruses are evolving into strains that they can survive? Or is it because we are just becoming more aware of them? With our Global exposure, there is no longer any isolation, and everybody in one way or another is at risk. Maybe it is Nature's way of helping the species evolve into a stronger more immune being. I am speaking of the Human species of course. I am after all one of them...really, I am...regardless of what they say.

I am sitting here trying to get motivated. I have my painting/messy clothes on, and need to either get in and get the room done, or get out and get the yard picked up so that my brother can mow it. I dont wanna!! I just want to Veg!! I am really good at that. I want everything done, so that I wont feel guilty for reading a book all day, or starting a new cross stitch project. I also want to go camping!! I haven't been in over 6 years. So much to do!!! So much I want to do!!! aaaggghhhhhh...

I need a push! I have run out of steam. I know I have the rest of my life to accomplish whatever I start to do, so I put it off, and put it off, and put it off. I am to the point right now that I have so many projects started and none of them completely finished and it is starting to really overwhelm me. I need to get The spare room finished. I have the paint, I just need the wanna...I need help in moving the dressers out of there and down into the garage until I finish with MY room. Then I need help in getting the secretary refinished and the rockers up into the spare room. Then I can paint my room and move the dressers into it, and move the oak dresser out of there and into the dining room. Then I need help in getting the baseboards primed, painted and put up. Then I need to put down new vinyl in the kitchen and paint the walls, then I need to put vinyl down in the laundry room and paaint it too. Then it is on to the Living room and paint that, then tidy up all the rooms and then..........AH GOD!!!! I'm too tired for anymore. And I haven't even STARTED the yard. Wanna level up the lawn area, rototill around the fence line, put weed blocker down and then cover it with bark. Then start a bulb bed because by that time it will be almost summer and almost time to plant bulbs. Jeez, I forgot the trim on the house....that too. AND I WANT MY DECK BUILT!!!! I bought a 15X20 ft deck in 1995, and never got around to building it, so when I transferred I LOANED it to a friend with the understanding that when I got back, He would replace it and help me build it. Hmmmm been back since 2000, still no deck!! I guess I can scratch that one off. It would be nice to have a place to sit in the spring morning sun and drink my coffee, and watch the birds, That is if the sun ever shines again.

I wish I could get over this blue funk that I am in. I walked into my Sister's house yesterday, and mentioned that I felt a feeling of DOOM, and she inhaled fast and said ME TOO!!! and then my Brother came in and said I feel like something is going to happen. THE BIG ONE IS OVERDUE! HMMMM wonder what is gonna happen? Don't know if it is a big storm blowing in, a tsunami coming, a big earthquake, or just the dark days and the low pressure. Scary huh?...maybe it is just a good wind storm. I like those. Clear the air, knocks out the power for a day or so. blows down trees, ahhhhhhhh fun...

Bleary, dreary day!!! Dark, chilly, wet! Green, gray and, looking out the front window, bright pink from the apple blossoms. It's the kind of day that I used to just LOVE. Not sure I still do. Maybe, but I am feeling really dark, and dreary myself. Might be brought on by the weather, but also may be brought on by the fact that I am unemployed, and have no purpose in life right now. All of my energy can be focused on me and my life, and not on the Navy Exchange. Maybe that is what really scares me. I have spent all of my adult life focusing on my career, and how to advance it, and very little of my time was spent on ME. The only time I really did focus on ME, I lost almost 100 pounds, and looked and felt really good, but the payoff was, it destroyed my family. I left my Husband, my daughter moved in with my Mother and Dad, My son got in trouble, and I lost everything I had. Maybe I am afraid of doing that again. My husband is now dead, my parents are both dead, my son is in jail and my daughter is trying desperatly to find a job in her field so that she can start her own career. I have spent the past 19 years in a relationship with a wonderful man who refuses to acknowledge that we are in a relationship. (go figure) What do I want out of life? Where do I want to be in five years? ten? Twenty? Will I make it another 20?
And just when I am feeling unloved, old, unfullfilled, lost, and unworthy of anyone, I have a big gray tabby cat that jumps up on my desk and sits quietly purring and head butting my left arm, telling me that whatever I look like, whatever I am feeling, He loves me!! unconditionally!! No strings attached!! Maybe the world isnt so bleary after all...

No one told me that when I retired, I would start looking really old. I dont have to do my hair everyday. I dont have to wear makeup every day. I dont have to wear panty hose every day, I can wear big baggy clothes and go bra-less. All of the above when added together spells OLD! Now I KNEW my hair was gray, I wanted it to go gray, It is a rite of passage to get gray, and mine is a pretty white gray. It is just in front, and lots of people spend lots of money to frost their hair the way mine looks. sort of. Old!
I KNEW I was Fat. But what I did NOT know was that when you go bra-less, it feels really good, you can breath better, your shoulders dont hurt as much, BUT your bust line is now at your waist line. OLD! I KNEW that wearing makeup covered a multitude of sins, but I did Not know that it also covered age spots, double chins, skin tags, sagging eyelids and gray eyebrows that thinned out so far, naturally, that it looks like you shaved 1/2 of them off. OLD! I KNEW that I should wax my upper lip every so often, but I did NOT know that it would become MORE often as you age. I now have more hair on my upper lip than I have on my legs. OLD! I did not know that my lips would get chapped. I wore lipstick every day, all day, which kept them moist. Now they are chapped. AHA wear lipstick again, I did NOT know that your lips thinned out. I put my lipstick on without a mirror, which is what I have been doing for 38 years, and when I went into the bathroom I noticed that I had lipstick WAAAY outside my lipline. It was there before, why isnt it now? OLD. I KNEW that my pantyhose were control top, but what I did NOT know was how MUCH they controlled!!! Gravity took over, and now my belly button says Howdy to my twat. OLD!

There are women out there that are in denial of getting OLD, wake up every morning and go through their usual ritual of putting all of the above on. Why? Is it vanity, Denial, or Just not wanting the rest of the world to see the real you? Should I get up and do all of that? Should I live with it and be comfortable? SHould I do SOME of it and skip the rest? What is the pay off? WIll it get me a husband that will take care of me the rest of my life? NO. Will it bring me tons of money to my door? NO! Will it set a great example for other people? NO! Hmmmm....makes ya wonder. I think that growing old gracefully is a blessing. There are real challenges, true, but why try to look 22 when you are pushing 60? Go with the flow, rejoice that you MADE it to 60. Just be really sure that you put all of this stuff on when you go out to meet the world. Scaring little kids is not nice!

I can just see it now the whole world will smell like Thanksgiving every single day!
Guess I goofed, go to the article about ANYTHING INTO OIL...sheesh.

It is now day 51 of my Life After Nexcom and I am STILL fighting with NEXCOM about my retirement pay and my VSIP! It should NOT have been this hard!!! When I called on the 7th of April, I was told the check was mailed out on March 25. REALLY slow airplane huh? I am really tempted to call or (email since I CAN NO LONGER CALL LONG DISTANCE!!!) the Admiral. Hmmmm maybe I oughta just skip him and go straight to the SECNAV? Nah better not, better follow protocol and go up the chain. If I do not have money in my account by the time I have my next Mortgage payment due, I will.

OH and to add insult to injury, I was billed today for two months worth of Medical Insurance. I thought that was taken care of by NEXCOM? That's what they said...Dear LORD what has happened? It is a function of NEXCOM to take care of it's retirees, unfortunately, those that are left, are all outsiders and obviously dont give a shit. I certainly hope that the rest of us that took NEXCOM up on their offer are not having the problems I am.

I wonder what the NEX would do if I went back to work, took over my old job, and said, "You broke your word to me, Now I'm coming back." ? HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
Fat chance I'd do that. Couldn't take my afternoon nap.

Retirement is supposed to be a time of your life to decompress, and relax, and settle in and ENJOY the rest of your life. A LONG Life hopefully. But my type A personality
is fast making her comeback. ARRGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Last Friday we opened our latest show Neil Simon's Rumors at The Whidbey Playhouse. BUT we were minus one of our main characters, who was taken away just before curtain to the hospital with pneumonia. So we had to make an announcement that the part would be read by another cast member, and HIS part would be read by another etc...SO opening night we had 3 cast members reading out of the book. NOW the rest of the cast is sick, and we are having to cancel shows for Thursday, Friday and possibly Saturday. THe next show on board refuses to give us another week so we will be out 3 nights worth of revenues. I hope her cast gets sick too. That wasn't very nice. But neither was she. She could have waited a week to take the stage, as she doesnt open until June!! How stinking RUDE!!!!

I have to admit that I am not feeling very good either. I ache all over again, and am extremely tired. I went to bed early last night, woke up after about 2 hours which is becoming usual. :-( checked my blood sugar, and read for about two hours. Then I fell back to sleep and dreamt about the NEX again. THis one was very troubling, and I felt like I was 1/2 awake and trying to shake out of this dream, but I could not. There were several vendors involved, and a major sale event in the garden shop. I still have flash backs but you how dreams are, when you remember them they are very disjointed and make absolutely no sense. I wish I could have a good nights sleep, go to bed early, sleep until 700 and wake up refreshed. Every night. I appear to do this about three days a week. Then I spend 1 whole day trying to catch up again. Today I was planning on getting the paint for Donnas room, and starting to paint it and get it finished, so I could move on to the office. feh...

Loki is feeling much better, But he is still not fully recovered. He comes when I call him now, but is still very leery of me. Everytime I pet him I am either stuffing medicine in his mouth or in his ear. Poor baby. I feel really bad about letting his ear get so bad. I should have taken him in last Friday. No room at the Inn. But I guess I could have insisted.

I am in the mood for a really good movie. I cant find one. Any suggestions? I just might rent Crouching Tiger again. That is such a beautiful movie, the scenery is awesome. THe special effects are too. Ok is it effects or affects? I can never remember which goes with which context. I have stationary ....ery down pat. Then and Than, there, their, and they're too to and two, pair pare and pear etc, but I can never remember effects or affects. Humph....

Once more Dave Barry made me laugh....I opened his blog and he has linked to this site for the well-dressed CAT I personally like the bunny and the goat...

Well Chemystery added my site meter to my blog. She thinks it is crooked though. I cant tell. Maybe it is. Maybe im cock-eyed and can't tell.

Went to see Errant Son today. Had to conserve on gas because I still have not been paid for retiring. 6 weeks now and not one red cent!!! anyway, I had to take Loki to the vet because he has a very bad ear infection and was not himself. So i figured, I'd do everything at once, save the trips. Loki was 215 Tim was 100. I get there and there are no parking places at the jail, so I had to park a block away and walk. Loki was VERY VOCAL about being locked in his carrier and strapped to the front seat. I opened the windows a crack, so he would stay cool, and went on to see Tim. I was just about to walk into the jail, and her this loud obnoxious noise coming from the direction of the bank. Behind the bank, is my car. Loki was vocalizing so loudly, that I could hear him clear down at the jail door. I knew I couldnt leave him in the car like that, because I would get a ticket for leaving an animal in the car. So I gave up on Tim and went to the vet an hour early. We are sitting in the lobby, and Loki was yelling so loud that I got right in, and Loki was shot, and ointed, and cleaned. singing the whole time, and shedding all of his long yellow fur all over my dark brown shirt.

Now I have the same problem...how to see Errant son, and not get a ticket for leaving Loki alone in the car. Ah ha!!! My sister lives in town, several blocks away, so I ran over there and left Loki in his carrier, right inside the door while I did my chores. Whew. I know he yelled the whole time. I got back, and Phyllis had come home from work, and let Loki loose. Her cat is 1/2 the size of my moose, and was terrified of him. Poor Punkin. Loki is a beautiful cat, huge, but pretty. And I walked all over town with tons of yellow orange cat fur all over the front of my blouse. Must have been a gorgeous sight to behold.

By gosh, I think I've got it.

Ok, the best beloved darling daughter is working on getting a hit counter on this page. let's see if it works.

Ok, Now I'm getting pissed....I lost the hour long blog I wrote today. ANd it would have been a Pulitzer winner too. So then I wrote a very poignant sentence about how I lost my hour long blog, and I'll be damned if I didnt lose that one too. Lets see if this one works...

Once again I can't sleep. I am wide awake, and it was only 330 AM! Turned on CNN to see thousands of Iraqi men walking home, down a long lonely road. Said that their leaders took their weapons and their ID cards and told them to go home. It was a sight to see. I can not imagine our Military leaders doing something like that. I cant imagine our military personnel DOING something like that. When a people are repressed, and forced to serve or die, their loyalty isn't there. They will do anything to save their families. I am not naive enough to believe all that I see on TV about this war. I know that the dancing in the streets of Baghdad was probably only in that one little square, and looked like the entire country. But I also know that people are starting to realize that they are out from under the terror that Saddam's regime held over them. Now they are going to start asking What now? The theives in the streets that are doing all the looting need to be controlled, and fast, or another THUG will eventually rise up and take control, and the terror will start all over again. Same song, different face. Let's hope that the people that are put in charge of forming an INTERIM government, are able to see the whole picture, and fix the problems. THen let them elect a popular candidate, and run their own country. There is so much being said right now about our interests over there, and who will get whaich slice of the pie. We should not have a dog in that fight!! We should HELP them (Iraqis) and get out of Dodge! Leave the reconstruction to others. Leave the running of the oil fields to the Iraqis. They did it before, let them them do it again. Leave the running of the businesses to the Iraquis. Please let us show them that we do not want to build an empire. Put their country back on it's feet, teach it how to walk, then run, and then Let us leave it to the Iraqis.

Wish I could sleep without dreaming about work. I keep feeling that I am forgetting to do something very important, and I know I haven't. I don't have deadlines to remember any more, I don't have places to be anymore, The Play opens tomorrow night, and my part is over with. I DO have a jungle called a yard to harvest. Maybe that is what is keeping me guessing. Another undone project. Phfftt you oughta see the floors....

Does anyone beside Myself think that the hole in Saddam's statue (the one that did not get blown apart, last night) is very prophetic? RIGHT IN HIS CROTCH!! Even the journalist from CNN was giggling at the OOPS. An impotent statue for an Impotent Dictator. Fitting....

I had a really Bad day yesterday. I woke up wondering just what my purpose in life had been. Have I already achieved it? Am I just about to achieve it? Have I made a difference in somebody's life? Have I left a mark that will show that I was here? Who will care in 100 years? Who will care in 50? For that matter who cares now? I just am starting to think about the last 37 years and what all I have done. I have mentored people, I have counciled people, I have........who the hell cares...

I went in to the Playhouse to fix the showboard, and take one more picture that needed to go up. I waited until just about showtime, then I left. It was Membersnight, and there wouldn't be any place to sit, so I came home. I felt really out of sorts, so I turned off the lights, and went to bed. No War tonight...I said. Was I surprised when I woke up to find that we may have taken Baghdad. I saw the statue brought down 50 times, and listened to the news most of the morning.

I went into town around noon to get a smaller halter and leash for Bea Bunny. This one fit just right. Took her out into the clover patch and watched her munch away. She is really growing...I left her on leash in the house, while I watched closely to see how the Kitties woud react. Killer "Lint" came up sniffed at her and turned away, like "big deal, I cant eat something with that much fur on it." Loki was the one who sniffed and licked, and wanted to play, but he is twice if not three times her size, so I watched closely and then put her back in her cage.

This evening I played with my HP scanner, and learned how to copy slides and negatives, but I haven't learned how to make them bigger and keep the quality resolution. I gotta play more tomorrow. It should be fun once I get the details right. I have slides of my Fathers' that are priceless, and they are deteriorating rapidly. I would like to get them scannwed in and saved onto a cd so the rest of the family can enjoy them also. I think I am the only one in my whole family who thinks about saving family history for the future generations. I am the oldest, maybe the others just assume it is my job. Ahhhhhhh Ha! THAT's what my purpose in life might be, huh? I hope not...

Went to see Errant Son today. He looks good, and was actually glad to see me. No other visitors, so he had to talk to Mom. the 20 minutes really went quite fast. I sure hope he gets his act together and starts making something of his life!! He had shaved his head, so the crappy hair cut was gone. Looks rather good. I at least know that he is clean, and warm and fed, and safe. Now I just wish I knew that he was SMART.

Bea bunny tried out her new harness again today. It is waaay too big for her, so I need to go back and get the one for ferrets until she grows into her bunny one. She can wiggle out of the bunny one much too easily. I had her out in the she loved the grass and clover. I kept her in the house today, and she went right up to the cats, no problem there, as long as I was around. I wont risk it alone though, she would be LUNCH in a heartbeat. Her fur is getting very long. I am sposed to cut her fur every 4 months. Hmmmm wonder how much you can get for bunny fur? it is a good 4" long. Might make a good pair of mittens.

Woke up rather late today, Time change ya know...it was actually 6:30 but the clocks said 7:30. Ok gotta get used to it. Turned on the news as usual, to see how far we have gotten into Baghdad.

One of the things about this war that has gripped me so much is the reporting that was done, on the move, by imbedded reporters. One of those reporters grabbed at my heart and held me in his grip during the whole run into Baghdad. That reporter was David Bloom. I was afraid to go to sleep for fear I would miss something, and that Possibly, David would be put in harms way. It was like ice water hitting me in the face when CNN's Wolf Blitzer reported this morning that David Bloom, had indeed died. It was not officially battle related, It was a pulmonary embolism. A blood clot from sitting so long, in that cramped truck, I assume. The same type of thing happens to long distance air travelers. I say it was not officially battle related, but it surely was. He would not have been there had we not been at war. He was only 39! that is only 4 years older than my oldest child. I cried. I never knew the man, but I cried. I feel for his family, his wife and 3 daughters, His Mother!! It just isn't fair that young people die, to gain a type of life for other people that they themselves have been priviledged to live. David lived a charmed life, it was reported. I only hope that when everything is over, and awards are handed out, that he will be remembered and given one of those awards. He brought a new prospective to War Journalism that this world has never before seen. He sat in our livingrooms REAL time, and brought to us, sitting safely and warmly and securely, the Dirt, the grim, the heat, the fear, that War really is. I will miss him terribly...

I should have gone to see errant Son today, (visiting hours are m,w,f 1-4) but I chose not to go. I did it deliberately! And now I feel guilty about not going. I should have gone and sat there looking at him through 1" thick shatterproof glass, talking to him on a telephone, because obviously the System thinks that either he or I am a threat to security. (that sentance sounded all wrong should it have been either him or I are?) I have done nothing wrong in my entire life, and I have only gotten one ticket in my whole driving career. Tim has, and he is serving his time, but he did it willingly, and did not have to be escorted into jail, he came on his own, so I doubt if he is a threat either. I feel dirty everytime I go in there. I am treated like I am the criminal. I cant take my purse in, even though I can give nothing through the glass wall to Tim, I MUST show my drivers license everytime I go in. Even though most of the deputies in there either know me personally, or have seen me at the NEX. I must ring a buzzer, and wait to be acknowledged, even though There is no one else waiting to visit. I HATE IT!! I guess I will have to go visit on Monday.

The hummingbirds are now so thick that they are in holding patterns around the three 4 spigot feeders that I have hanging off the eaves. I now am filling them every morning. Soon I will have to fill them at night also, just so there will be bird juice for them at the crack of dawn. I get up early, but not that early.

Baby Bea bunny is getting too big for the cat carrier I have her in, but Bob has not built her cage yet. I now turn her loose in the bathroom all day, and she gets to hop around and get her exercise. I dont let her stay loose all night though, because im afraid she will chew the base board. I have to get her cage built this weekend though. I need my bathroom back.

I have so much to write about, but I just can't seem to spit it out. My blogging seems so insignificant when compared to other more meaningful blogs. USS CLUELESS for example. He writes so well, that you cant help but think that the picture and the biography he puts on his site, are a front for someone else. I'm sure it's not, but... He uses hooks to grab your attention, and just when you think you are totally lost about where he is going with his thoughts, he nails the landing. I read it every single morning, and wish I had the talent to put words to paper like that. I often thought I have some very potent words that need to be put to paper, and maybe I do have, but right now, they are hidden still very deep inside my being. Too many stressful things are clogging the fonts. I need to get my creditors paid off, I need to get my house finished, I need to get my yard done, and I need to throw all the crap in the garage away. THEN maybe I can relax and let them pour forth. Oh yeah, and finish my quilts, and finish my afghans and finish my needlework and......Big Sigh....I'll never write.

Oh look out world, here I come......I just learned something new...no more boring blogs!!!!! well HELL, cant post pictures I take on here until I get my own web space from Galaxynet. pooh...

Mom wanted to find a picure like this

so we googled and found it. and she now knows how to link too!

Chemystery is home for the evening...has an interview with some BIOTECH Corporation In Everett, So all together now....lets send good strong vibes.....OHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. That should do it. She needs this job. She needs to know that spending 1/2 of her life working and getting her degree was WORTH something. OHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

Just got off the phone with NEXCOM. "We never said you would get paid the first of April...it takes 4-6 weeks to get started." Hmmmmm There was an email that had FAQ on it, and it stated that you would get your first check on the first of the month following your retirement date. I retired Mar1. That would make it Apr 1. This is April 2 and I may not get paid until April 20? Something is wrong here!!! I also asked about my VSIP and was told that it was mailed to my address on March 25. OK this is now April 2 that is 8 days ago. Even if it came via TRAIN it would be here now!! Wouldn't you just KNOW that it would MY pay that gets screwed up? I'll bet that everyother NEX retiree gets paid right on time. I have Bill collectors waiting at the door with their hands out. I HATE THIS!!! Why can't I win Lotto and never have to worry about money ever again? yeah right.....

Went to visit errant Son and sat there on the otherside of the 1" thick glass, staring at him for 20 minutes. It's hard not to judge and hard not to lecture, and there isn't much much to talk about. I know all he wants from me is money, but I don't have any money to give him, and doubt that I would even if I did. He got himself in this pickle, and he has to get himself out of it. I offered shelter and support, and schooling, and he turned me down. I offered it again, and he turned me down again, I offered it one last time and he said no way, so I told him that he just tore up his free ride. I love him and worry all the time about him, but He is truely on his own now. No more from Mom! Whoo how hard is that!!!! Ya know, you may be able to walk away from your parents and never look back, but you CAN NOT walk away from your kids. The moment you give birth, you are a mother for the rest of your life!!! You may never hear from them again, but everyday, you wonder and worry and pray for their safe and happy lives. Mother Nature has it right with four footed animals. They shoo their adolescents away and never look back, and they also eat their defective young!!!

OK Now i'm PISSED!!! This is the first of April and I was supposed to get my first retirement check today. NOPE!! no money! It would figure that april 1st would be the day huh? APRIL FOOL'S MARY LOU!!! WE AREN'T GONNA PAY YOU!!! I will go clear to the Admiral on this if I have to. I assume it is at the NEX waiting for me to pick it up...I hope. I want to get my bills paid so I can start answering the phone again.