Trust...

One of my many faults is the fact that I TRUST implicitly. I trust that the people that I love Also Love me. I trust that the people I have faith in will not do me harm. I had trust that the people I hired would never steal from me. (I was always extremely Hurt when I discovered that some of them did.) I Trust that My Country will survive through another storm. ANd I trust that the people I meet on the internet are true and honest people.

I Know some of you think that is a Pollyanna attitude, but it is what I chose to believe. If I was to cast a jaundiced eye at everything I read, Then how would I ever know what was real?

I have a friend, who does that though. He does not trust anything, and is always looking for the bad in people. No, That isnt true, he doesnt always look for the bad, He just assumes that there are hidden agendas in everything he reads and hears. It is hard for him to trust his true feelings and have a normal relationship with ANYONE! He obviously was violated in some way in his formative years, and has built a brick wall around his heart that NO ONE can enter. Believe me I have tried.

I can not live that way. I have to Trust, I have to Love, I have to BE loved. I have to trust that my Children will finally be able to live their own lives the way they need to, and if they fail, they will be able to start over again, and get back on track.

Tim has not called in 3 months. I have tried calling him on his cell phone, leaving a message, and nothing. I tried again yesterday to call him, and got a weird message on his voice mail. I assumed then, that he had lost his job, could not pay his cell phone bill, and was homeless again. I prayed that he would call me, and this morning, he did! From his cell phone that he pays for monthly with the money that he makes from the job he has had for almost a year! I forgot to trust that he was alright! proved me wrong. THANK YOU!!

Trust is something that I need to have. It is something that I need NOT to worry about. (I do unplug Donna's webcam though, cause I heard that they watch you even when you are not looking!) I trust that all of my blog friends really are who they say they are. I could not imagine any of you being the stalker, or the coniver that people in the media say are out there in the blogsphere. I can not imagine any of you would make up your life stories, just for sympathy. I just have to trust that Bilbo really is a black cat, and that Ya-Ya really is a bird, and that Hunter really does blow things up.

I have just passed my 2nd blogiversary, and I would never have made it this far if I did not trust that the friends I have made in these two years were not in fact real. It is people that make the world. It is honest and true people who will help civilization prevail. Yes, I Know that there are bad guys out there, but if We dont have faith in each other and in ourselves, we will end up the paranoid frightened person that my friend is. That is not the way to live.

As someone much wiser than me once said. It is better to have Loved and Lost, than never to have loved at all. I cant remember who said it, But I do trust that you know who I mean, and will agree.

I Trust I will get over this dern cold, and will be able to breathe again. Trust.