Getting old

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it and let her know.


Old age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body---the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long.


I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie or for not making my bed or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need but that looks so avant garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.


Whose business is it if I choose to read until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's, and, if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will. I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set. They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But, there again, some of life is just as well forgotten---and I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one or when a child suffers or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.


I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. I can say "no" and mean it. I can say "yes" and mean it. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.


So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but, while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.



Author unknown


I loved that!!! It fits me so well. I have gotten so much character on my face and body now. I have skin tags on my face, and eye lids, I have age spots on my cheek, I have fat rolls where my stomach used to be, My thighs sag like elephant legs, my hair is gray and brown, I have bat wings for arms, vericose veins and spider veins on both legs, I have arthritis in both knees both hips and my spine. Oh and my wonky little finger that wont release the shift key so I type double caps.

I cant breathe very well, and I damn sure cant walk very far, but I am at this point in my life Happy and satisfied. I live alone (sorta) I own my own home, my car is paid for, I have a fairly good retirement, and if I wake up in the middle of the night and want to read a book until daybreak, I DO!! I used to feel guilty, but I don't any more. I earned it! I raised two kids, had a stressful career, and went through two husbands. I now am in charge of my own life. I intend to enjoy it while I can, because soon Donna will be in charge, and I wont be able to go out after dark, or eat ice cream, or have 4 cats, or even talk back. Pity!

We cast our show tonite, and I have a ton of work to do to get ready for tomorrows read-through. SO Off I go. I will be around...