Friday, April 06, 2007
My friend Catmama J sent me this post in an Email. I have been trying to encourage her to start a blog of her own, but she is really shy!! (HA!) anyway, read and enjoy!.......
O.K.,,, so I've been miserable with allergies for the last three or so weeks, and I decide today that maybe if I do a really good house cleaning, It'll help with my stuffed up nose and itchy eyes.
I get out my trusty canister vacuum and seeing that the bag is full, I go through the process of changing out bags. This involves duct tape and a bit of ingenuity on my part in getting it all together, as the machine is old and parts of it have gone missing over the years.
I get the new bag in, which means taping it to the inside of the vacuum around the opening, then inserting the hose head on the outside of the canister and applying duct tape all around it to make a good seal. Off I go to start with the bedroom. I have already taken out everything I can carry, and put said items into the guest room ( which now looks like something transients might be living in).
I start with the corners and work my way under the dresser and around the end tables and around the bed. I'm picking up dust bunnies, odd and ends, bits of thread, and bits of packing peanuts etc. etc. Now I'm starting on the headboard ( which being a bookcase headboard, has a collection of photos, flashlights, books, and a little hand-crank radio with a wrist strap ( un-attached) that I bought when the power went out last winter.
The vacuum is picking up all the dust when all of a sudden......sploot.... the wrist strap for the radio gets sucked up! I swear, and as I turn around I see little Grey-C sitting there on the bed watching all the action. I say something to her like 'Geez,,, now what do I do?', while I'm thinking, do I want to try and retrieve the strap, or just 'fa-git-aboud-it'. I really don't want to waste this new bag, I just went through all the trouble getting it on the vacuum, but then I think, 'Man, that's really lazy of me', so I decide to remove the tape from around the hose and see if I can fish the strap out with a piece of coat-hanger that I keep for various jobs requiring precision digging.
With a fading flashlight, and my trusty bit of coat-hanger, I can see the strap, but can't get a good hold on it no matter how many times I try to hook it. I'm still not about to waste this bag, so I decide the only thing to do is cut it open. I get my scissors and my roll of duct tape and with only a moment of hesitation, I make my incision. Not too long now,,, I must be able to seal it up once I've completed my task. I open the slit and gently pry it apart and shine the flashlight into it's depths. Aha!!! there it is,,,, looking so much like some long black alien appendix. I pull out some of the contents that are wrapped around it and lay all the fuzz and dust onto the floor. I pull out the strap, shake it off, and lay it beside me on the floor while I pull off a strip of duct tape, carefully cut off a piece, and seal the slit on the bag. Ahhh,,, I could have been a surgeon it looks so good.
I put the hose head back into place, cut more strips of duct tape and seal carefully all around it to make it air tight again. Taking the hose in hand, I turn on the vacuum and proceed to suck up the mess surrounding me on the floor.
SPLOOT!!!! There goes that damned strap again, right back into the machine!!!!
I can't believe what I've just done!!!! I say words I didn't even know I knew!!! Now Grey-C is sitting on the end of the bed looking at me with such wonder in her sweet little cat face. I can only guess what thoughts are going through her head right now, because my own brain can't comprehend what just happened. I sit there on the floor for a minute wondering what I really want to do next, and I determine that I'm not going to let this thing beat me!
Once again I grab my trusty scissors. Will the patient survive??? Is this a lesson of futility??? Has any vacuum bag ever gone through so much for so little????
I make my second incision............ more crud pulled out and onto the floor......... my fingers once again reaching into these wretched bowels. Once again I retrieve the strap. This time, I place it on the bed next to Grey-C. Again I pull off a strip of duct tape and seal up this second incision. I take a moment to again admire my work, and then put everything back together hopefully for the last time. I turn on the vacuum,,, it's working!!!! I look at Grey-C and she and I decide that I should quit while I'm ahead.
In the meantime,,,, after being so thoroughly immersed in a bag full of house dust, I........, I......, I................,