Still Here

Yes, I am still alive and kicking. I have been so busy I rarely have time to sit at the computer unless I am doing work for one non-profit or another!I am finishing up one show NUNSENSE and have just started rehearsal for the next one ZOMBIES FROM THE BEYOND. AND getting ready in 4 weeks for the Coupeville Festival. We hold an arts and crafts fair every year, and vendors from all over the country come to sell their own hand made wares. We have over 200 booths, and it fills up two streets in town! We end up with over 10,000 people in town for that weekend. Lots of planning and getting things going. More than I ever thought about until I got involved. WHEW!

I also started a class in Chair Yoga, which I think is helping me. Too soon to tell, as I have only been to two classes, and now she will be gone until the 14th of July! :( I am still swimming,and still in pain, but maybe JUST maybe, this Yogini can help me with that.

I have not been blogwalking but I do try to keep up with facebook, so people will know that I am still alive. I will not stop blogging, just not as much! You have all been there. You KNOW you have! Rain, I stopped by and left a HUGE comment on your post this morning, and blogger lost it. But I really was there!!!!

CatmomaJ's white deer

We live on an island, and it is very rare for new creatures to crawl across the bridge or swim the 5 miles from the mainland, so we have a population of deer that eventually interbreed. THey are small, but they breed like crazy. The only natural predators are the coyotes that were brought over to control the rabbit population, and of course the proverbial teenager with a 22 rifle or a shotgun. Needless to say, when theses deer are corraled by houses and fences and highways, they will interbreed, and we end up with some very strange looking holstein like deer. Very rare on THIS Island, but in the SAN JUANS (2 islands over) they are very prevalent.




CatMomaJ took these yesterday out her bedroom window. This one is not an albino deer, but a very pale color nonetheless. Judy has been watching her for about a year now and she is quite shy. I would expect her to breed this year and possibly have some little baby white deer!

Still Here

It is very difficult to write when everything you want to say is negative. Difficult when you find that writing may make you realize a few things you dont like. even more difficult when there is not a freaking thing you can do about them.

I am stressed....
I am in Pain.....
I am hurt........
I am in pain.....
I am pushed......
I am in pain.....
I am lonely......
I am in Pain.....

I so want a good night's sleep without having to get up and peee 50 times a night, I want a good night's sleep without drugs that may or may not cause me to sleepwalk, sleep eat, or sleep compute. (How would I know? I live alone!)

I went to the Neurological Surgeon and he said that there is nothing he can do to fix me. THat anything he does would only be temporary and could hurt me worse than the fix. That was not what i wanted to hear. I have been through therapy, did not help. I Have had the shots in my spine...did not help. I am on Drugs, but they dont work anymore, and only will lead to more and more drugs at a higher and higher dose. I dont want that. The Pain is causing stress because I can not do what I need to do in my everyday life. I can't paint sets, I can't mow the yard, I cant walk through the grocery store, I cant vaccuum, I cant walk on the beach that I love so much. I have to go up the stairs one step at a time and I hurt. People are pulling away from me because I am no fun to be around. That is just an impression, not a known fact.

Being in pain causes me to be less tolerant than I used to be. My daughter told me I was acting like Ouiser in STEEL MAGNOLIAS. Thank you SO much OBE! Appreciate the support! :(

The only time I am not hurting is when I am sitting, for a short time, or swimming. Now swimming is a blessing...but not the one I was looking for. I was hoping it would strengthen my back so I could walk. Instead it has built up muscles in my gluts and my legs, so that I can swim Longer. Unfortunately my back will never improve from swimming. It feels good in the water though. No gravity, and no pain...however the pain upon exiting the pool is horrendous! Even little kids look at my face and run!

I have a new play starting this next week, and I am stressed about that. Stressed because I have repeatedly asked for help in finding a musical director, and I am getting nowhere! I know I can pull this off and it will be funny, but I cant play music, and so need help.. The Board is not helping one iota in that regard.

I have a cat that is going to have to be put to sleep if he doesnt quit shitting in the garage! He is UBER old, and used to belong to Tim, and he is an independent cuss, but he refuses to use the cat boxes! If I put him out at night, he stands under the window and SCREAMS until I let him in. I spent last weekend cleaning the garage, and I am paying for it this week. And yesterday I went in to scoop, and there right against the garage door is TWo piles of poo! ARRRRGHH!! He is so old he forgets what he is doing. I keep hoping that an owl or a coyote will take him away, but that aint gonna happen...It will have to be MOM that does it.

I Wish I drank! THen I could self-medicate and not worry about it, but I don't. So I guess I better shut up before the few readers I have left leave me too.

On a good note: THe oldest Baby flew today, but came back into the nest when Mom came home with dinner. The others looked at him as if to say..."HEY, You don't live here anymore! Go Away, this is OUR Lunch!"

WHOOPED!!

I am so tired! I had a board meeting tonight for the CFA, but I worked on the SHow this weekend, so now I have to rush to get caught up with my Producer duties....GOtta get to the scrapbook store tomorrow and get the paper for the Lobby Wall, then get that all done then Swim on Wednesday, then Buy-out on THursday and Open on Friday! THEN I have to get my shit together for MY show ZOMBIES which Auditions in three weeks!! ARRRGHHHH I am so glad I am retired and have nothing to do!!!! BAHHHH